keep passing the open windows

I’ve written about my nephew F. before. He’s twelve, going into 7th grade, and the second child of my younger sister, M. He has a penchant for posting questions on Yahoo! Answers and they never fail to crack me up.
His most recent question:
“Am i sphyickec if it’s real?”
“for the last year […]

On Father’s Day my dad was supposed to arrive at Chez Wood around 1:00 or 1:30 after dropping my nephew F. off at the train station in nearby Galesburg, IL.
Before his expected arrival I started the grill, made a couple of salads, prepared potatoes, garlic bread and chicken to be grilled, cut up onions and […]

My work is holding a training session today and our employees from around the state arrived in scenic Princeville this afternoon.
As always, I was in charge of finding an ice breaker. I’m the queen of ice breakers and am definitely going to put it on my next resume. (Experienced in brief […]

I swear they play that Usher song more than once an hour on the radio station my teen daughter likes.
It came on the other night while Reagan and I were in the car and I tried to catch all the lyrics. Not only does Usher want to “make love in this club,” he wants […]

Hi everyone. I just found a bunch of comments in my spam folder that weren’t spam, including a couple from myself. (yes, I comment on my own blog!) So sorry to anyone who might have thought I found their comment offensive or unacceptable, I haven’t yet deleted any comment other than spam, […]

Yesterday at work, my officemate, Mari, says to me:
“Oh, a message just popped up that I have a virus.”
Me: “Is it from Norton anti-virus?”
Mari: “No.”
Me: “Oh, don’t click on it! It’s a virus.”
Mari: “No, it says I have a virus.”
Me: “No, it’s the virus. Don’t click on it.”
Mari: […]

There is a David Sedaris story that goes something like this:
“One summer my family was embroiled in a mystery. Someone was wiping his or her butt on our mahogany colored bathtowels and replacing the towels on the shelf, properly folded. At one point or other each of us was the victim and one […]

My boss: “Does Illinois have one ‘n’ or two?”
Me: (What? My boss was in the newspaper spelling bee for god’s sake and has lived in IL since she was five, is she totally brain dead today?)
“Um, one, Maria.”
MB: “Are you sure? That doesn’t look right.”
Me: “Um, yah, just one ‘n’”
MB: “No that’s not right, there […]

You graduate from 8th grade today, an accomplishment you seem to be taking in stride.
“Mom! It’s ONLY 8th grade promotion” was your exasperated plea when I ruled out basketball shorts, a white t-shirt and high-top tennis shoes for your graduation ensemble.
I’ve written about some of the less sterling parts of your middle […]

Saturday night we (Taylor, Chris, Tay’s friend Wesley) were hanging out playing board games.
The topic of usernames came up. Chris said “My username on my fantasy league is Mike-Oh, I better not say.”
Taylor and Wesley started lauging hysterically.
Okay, what’s so funny about Mike? Mike What?
Chris finally admited that his username is […]