keep passing the open windows

My daughter just called and asked “unsalted butter or salted?”
I’m so proud.
(Not that she’s baking-she’s been able to follow a recipe for years, but that she knows about salted and unsalted butter and that the use of one vs. the other could make a difference in her final product.)
Alternate title: Yes, [...]

My daughter’s bedroom has the largest landfill closet in the house. And, apparently, she has been utilizing it as the fastest method of bedroom cleaning.
We discovered the problem this weekend, but really should have picked up on it earlier, due to our dwindling supply of bath towels and teaspoons.
A closet cleaning mandate was [...]

WTF is up this winter? My daughter, who never gets sick, has been sick three times since mid-January.
Last time she was sick Chris took her to the doctor. He did a strep test and also a test for mono.
Reagan and I both were puzzled, MONO?
Her, because she had never heard [...]

Reagan was upset yesterday after Scholastic Bowl.
Reagan: “We lost and it was all my fault!”
Me: “Why?”
Reagan: “The last question was about men’s deodorant and I knew the answer was “Old Spice” but was too embarrased to say it.
Me: “Um, why?”
Reagan: “Because it was about MEN’S DEODORANT!”
Really, which [...]

Saturday night I took the kids, Tay, Rea, and W., to see a performance by the BBQ Kittens, an improv group that performs shows similar to “Whose Line is it Anyway.”
On the way there we met Chris to switch cars. During the Chinese Fire Drill Chris dropped his OUR cell phone. [...]

My daughter was in quite a mood this weekend. In her defense, she was recuperating from being sick most of last week. On the other hand, gosh, she was being awfully, awfully awful.
Saturday Chris was gone most of the day. During his absence she started referring to him as “The MAN you [...]

Yesterday Reagan’s bully, Miranda, knocked down another student, A., in anger over A. flirting with her boyfriend.
She received a one day suspension from school. From the same principal that told me a suspension wasn’t useful in punishing Miranda because she doesn’t want to be at school anyway. A. is the daughter [...]

This was a weird morning. First my cell phone did the “missed call” ring at 6:03 am, over an hour before I had to get up. I don’t know how I missed a call since the phone was right next to the bed all night. Then it rang again, a minute [...]

Getting in the car this morning, Chris said “Reagan’s being grumpy.”
I replied “Wow, and she doesn’t even know the bad news.”
The kids both sat in the backseat, frozen with uncertainty. Finally, Reagan said “What ‘bad news?’”
Me: (nonchalantly) “Oh, Ms. B. called the other night and asked us to chaperone at the dance.” [...]

This falls under the catagory of “Hairy Muffin”
Last night Reagan walked up to me and said “I just changed my name on Myspace to ‘Good Wood’ ”
To clarify, “Wood” is my kids’ last name. (My last name is hyphenated.)
You can guess where my mind leapt.
I asked the obvious question: “Why?”
She responded: [...]