Things white people suck at.
I’m the only “white person” at my office. It’s not a distinction I make, but one my co-workers do, mainly by calling me “the white girl.”
Growing up in the ‘burbs, well, everyone (except the pastor’s adopted kids and one hispanic young man) was “white,” so I never really thought much about race. In my cozy self-involved little world race was just not an issue. (Hmmm… at least not for me, but maybe the pastor’s kids and Julio wouldn’t agree!)
However, here at my little office I am frequently reminded of things white people suck at.
Including: (but surely not limited to)
Food. White people food sucks. And burritos-well, burritos are NOT “REAL” Mexican food. Ditto to “Art’s Tamales,” I guess “Art” must be short for “Arthur” not “Arturo.”
Having fun. White people like terrible music and can’t dance. (Hmm….Erasure, Celine Dion and Meatloaf kind of prove that point. JT, on the otherhand, refutes the second part.)
Marriage. White women are very bossy to their husbands. (Ummm.. well, I’m kinda proof of that one.)
Spanish. White people who took Spanish in high school, well, their (and my!) accent is awful.
Soap Operas. “Day’s of Our Lives” is no match for a telenovela.
Weddings. White weddings are boring. Mexican ones are fun. (See: “having fun”)
Of course, there are apparently some things that suck about being Hispanic, too, such as people assuming that you’re “illegal.”
Oh, yah, and racism, prejudice and intolerance
July 22nd, 2008 at 2:03 am
Things “white people” are good at: creating and maintaining civilization based on individual rights and freedom.
Other “people” who have done this: none.
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:08 am
Dis white people all you want. But if you dis “Days of our Lives,” well, them’s fighting words. Sister!
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:20 am
It strikes me as odd that non white people would lump all white people into a category or type (like being bossy to your husband), but then consider it an affront that white people would think all Hispanics are illegal.
As for accents and learning Spanish in school, well, mostly what is taught in a school is going to be a more proper “official” form of Spanish, not what most Mexicans, Hondurans, Puerto Ricans and others actually speak. Similarly, in the German language, there is Hohe Deutsch, or High German, which is written and spoken differently than regular Deutsch, and both are different from Pennsylvania Dutch. But I guess thats another white people sort of thing to know.
July 22nd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Hmm… maybe I should have thought twice before posting this.
1. I do love my co-workers and they are very kind to me. They might call me “the white girl” on occasion, particularly those that don’t know me well (we have sites across the state) but they don’t mean it in a derogatory fashion.
2. They don’t dislike white people but they definitely feel that the tenor of the nation has changed in such a way that they feel an almost palpable disapprobation by “white people” due to all the negative hype against immigration. They feel the anti-illegal immigration stance has become an anti-Hispanic stance in the hearts of many.
3. My post was meant to be light hearted and funny, but maybe it was tactless, so I’m sorry if I offended anyone.
4. “Day’s or our Lives…” hmm… you might be right Billy, maybe I should have put “Passions” because that show is really dreck!
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:42 pm
heh, all I could think of was stuffwhitepeoplelike.com
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:36 pm
Your post IS lighthearted and funny and I TOTALLY got it. We (white people) can’t fight worth a darn. Have you seen a couple white girls try and fight? No way. White girls should also not try and have the long sparkly multi colored done up acrylic nails.
July 22nd, 2008 at 9:01 pm
Rix,
One day I was telling my boss “I hope C. doesn’t beat me up at this funeral.”
And she said “I think you could take her.” I just froze. It had never struck me that 1. I could win a fight 2. that anyone else would think I could win a fight! Then she started laughing and said “You should see your face. I’ve never seen you look so surprised!” So, yes, I’m with you on the “not fighting worth a damn” and I’d add, especially if you grew up on the mean streets of Washington, IL.
Jennifer
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:03 am
Rib…I’m all white, and you’ve never seen me fight…LOL
I was an evil beotch back in high school.
;o)
Oh and jen…people need to take a breath and gain a sense of humor here…this was a great post. I chuckled heartily, being a white girl, myself.
Nuff said…
Hugs!
July 23rd, 2008 at 4:23 am
I understood the lighthearted intent, I just chose a serious response. These are serious times after all.
For something serious, poignant and funny:
http://www.aspentimes.com/article/2008198091324
October 16th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I am slightly amused by this yet moreso annoyed at a “white person” who would put down thier own kind while complimenting mexicans, of all races. I know that they are not all bad, but really, they are overpopulating our contry, taking our jobs, making it hard for our “white people” who really need help, to be able to get it. Welfare for example. Committing a huge portion of the crimes in this country, and they are generally very rude and disshonest. I am not prejudice, I just hate most of them!