keep passing the open windows

This morning I got to experience the joys of incompetent tech support.
The employee at one of our satellite offices was attempting to install DSL and couldn’t get past the username/password screen.
I called AT & T and, after an interminable time answering questions from an automated voice:
“Have you been able to connect at all?”
“NO”
“Sorry, but I cannot understand your response.”
“NO!!”
“Sorry I cannot understand your response, please push 1 for NO, or 2 for shove it up your ass.” (Okay, it didn’t say that last part, but it might as well have…)

I ask the person, Oh!, the real human person, “How do we get assigned a user name and password?”
He asks what color the modem is and how many green lights are flashing. (In hindsight, I really wonder if he was totally fuckin’ with me)

I call the site:
“Hola, RE, gris or negra la modem, por favor?” “Numero verde el illuminata?”
“Gris, Quatro? Buenas dias”

Speaking to a 2nd tech support person, I exclaim triumphantly: “Four green lights and a grey modem!” Tech support guy: “Uh, well, we need the model number and type of modem.” SHIT.

I call RE back.

I have no idea how to ask for the model number in Espanol. Modelo? Modela? Tall skinny white chick + numero?

A third call to tech support begins with the tech guy announcing that with AT&T DSL you MAKE UP your own user name and password.

Necessitating a third call to RE to relay that information in butchered Spanglish:
“Cosmetico (a la AVON) tu password y user name. Hasta Luego”

She tried it; it didn’t work. (But, then maybe she was applying blush to her moniter, I’m not really sure.)

I get the bright idea to have her call AT&T and speak to someone in Spanish.

Finally, now, six hours later, her DSL is up and running.

And I have a wee headache that I’m soothing via Reeses Pieces, diet Coke and Tylenol.

I hate the chirpy phrase “TGIF!” but I’m totally feeling it today.

This entry was posted on Friday, September 28th, 2007 at 9:02 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.